


Ricorda

by Kajune



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Hallucinations, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 16,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7662349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajune/pseuds/Kajune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is wrong with Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set almost immediately after _The Vessel_.

**Sam's POV**

It's cold. The bunker is cold, yet Sam already checked the air conditioners scattered throughout the place, and each one was turned off. He's certain, and after the tenth time, he decides to stop checking.

There's no food in the kitchen either. He searched the cupboards more than ten times already, more, and yet he can't find anything edible, or drinkable. The tap waters all spray blood.

At first, Sam thought he had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, so he goes to bed early.

When he wakes up, nothing has changed.

Dean is gone too, missing almost, and after two days there is still no sign of him. Sam initially assumed he had gone out to buy some groceries, as there clearly wasn't any. Sam also thought he had gone to get the pipes fixed for once, since they never did, and Sam wants to shower but he can't. It's just blood.

Sam's hunger is slowly becoming a bother, so he cuts down on exercise to avoid starving. It works well until his energy levels begin to drop and Sam's afternoon naps become a hazard to his health.

For six days, Dean is still not back.

Sam goes out of his way and drinks the blood, and finds that it tastes like water. Only the kitchen though. The bathroom and showers made him gag.

The taste reminded him too much of Hell.

Sam knows he should go look for Dean, but the Impala is gone and he can't find the keys for the other vehicles. Again, he checked many times, up to seven, right before his legs protested.

Dean won't answer his phone either.

It gets worse on day seven.

Dean is still not back. Sam feels his stomach screaming at him but there isn't any food in the fridge. There's somehow an empty bowl on the kitchen table but it only makes Sam feel extreme longing. He wanders the bunker still, has been doing it for hours per day.

His tiredness is getting worse too.

Sam is sleeping more often now, exhausted from hunger, little exercise and worry. His emotions feel somewhat numb or distant or even suppressed, and Sam has been feeling this way since the beginning of the week.

He tried to read, but the words in every book are a blur.

By nightfall, he begins to hear voices.

He initially thinks it's Dean, and sits by the stairs just waiting for him. No one comes down. He calls, voice hoarse even after drinking the tap water. The voices are the loudest in the library, so Sam looks around, over and over, almost frantic, until his head spins and he nearly collapses, so he retreats to the bed and falls asleep again.

The voices continue on after that day, the bowl in the kitchen doesn't budge from its spot, and blood is still pouring from every shower hose, and worst of all, Dean is nowhere in sight.

 

 


	2. Dean Winchester

**Dean's POV**

It started out of nowhere.

One night, they made an agreement to help Castiel get rid of Lucifer, and by the following morning Sam began acting like a zombie.

Dean was in the kitchen when he first saw him, eyes blown and his feet taking tiny baby steps that led him toward the fridge. He didn't react when Dean called his name. He opened the fridge then paused, seemingly caught in something, and closed it.

Dean went completely ignored even after he began shouting. Sam simply walked back out and started to wander around. Dean followed him after putting away the newspaper and coffee. Sam was moving aimlessly, making not a sound.

He started rubbing his arms at some point, acting like he was cold. When he started checking the bound-to-break-and-collapse air conditioners, Dean's suspicion was confirmed. However, the inside of the bunker was warm, so the air conditioners were not needed, yet Sam still acted like even the walls were made of ice.

Dean swore to purchase new machines one day.

Sam's wandering briefly stopped when Dean grabbed him, but resumed as soon as he let go. It worried Dean to the point that his stomach churned.

He tried again and again to get Sam's attention, but the sad-looking hunter failed to notice him completely. Even after slamming him into the wall and punching him once, Sam did not respond to any of it, and resumed his pace around the bunker.

After Sam went to bed early, Dean threw up in the toilet.

They had just dealt with Lucifer, found out he had been wearing Castiel like a prom dress, so Dean was in no state of mind to find his only remaining companion behaving like he had lost his mind.

It reminded him of RoboSam, and the time Sam suffered hallucinations. At least then he could be spoken to. Now, he was stuck in his own, ice-cold world.

His behavior didn't change the following day. From the moment Sam arose, he began pacing again. He searched the kitchen again, behaving like there was no food. Sam refused to drink, and soon, he stopped exercising too.

He looked frighteningly sad, like he was lost, but he could not see that he was home, safe and sound. Maybe he was seeing a different bunker, and the thought alone made Dean sick again.

When Dean noticed Sam was actually afraid of the taps and the showers, he was reminded that they were already fixed, yet Sam was acting like the clean water coming out was anything but. Dean went out of his way to pour water on Sam's head, splash it on his face, but got no reaction.

He screamed.

Unsure on what to do, Dean began researching. He read for every possible cure and found nothing to compare Sam's condition to. Dean didn't even know what was wrong with Sam, and prayed to whatever bothered to listen for some kind of solution.

Dean couldn't even tell if Sam's soul was intact.

By the afternoon of the third day, Dean came up with a plan. When he had gotten back from the past, Sam was on the floor, and he knew exactly who to blame.

Lucifer...or Lucifer in Cas, was summoned to the bunker inside a set of powerful, ancient angel traps.

Using every anti-angel tool he had, Dean began interrogating the archangel. Although Dean had a feeling Lucifer was responsible, Lucifer swore he did nothing. He admitted to what he had been planning to do, but Castiel had rescued the younger Winchester in time.

The mere confession earned him a freakishly painful slap.

Ultimately, Lucifer proved useless and was left gagged and bound inside the dungeon. Lucifer was obviously furious about this, but Dean didn't care. There was Sam to worry about.

By the time he found Sam, he was back to searching the kitchen for food.

There was so much stuff to eat, yet Sam couldn't find any.

The grumbling noise of his stomach continued.

Dean complained to himself for half an hour before coming back to check on Sam, in case he saw Lucifer.

Fortunately, Sam kept up his routine and avoided the dungeon. Dean avoided it too until Lucifer managed to ungag himself and start shouting.

Dean silenced him with a metal gag.

Dean spent the remaining hours of that day researching and wondering if he should improve the pipe system. After learning how to do it himself, Dean went off and finished the task by the fourth morning, completely avoiding sleep.

The result? Sam began drinking from the kitchen tap.

Only the kitchen tap.

He definitely did not see the water pouring from the showers as plain water.

By midday, Dean dragged Lucifer out of the dungeon so he could witness Sam's condition. Sam, in his daze, nearly knocked the chained archangel off his feet when he walked right into him.

Not even Castiel's face registered.

Dean was tempted to get Lucifer to do something, and after some arguing and laying down rules, Dean allowed Lucifer to pin Sam to a wall and touch his soul.... _gently_.

Lucifer told him five times that nothing was wrong with Sam's soul.

So Dean had him check Sam's brain... _gently_.

Again, Lucifer swore in his Father's name, that nothing was wrong.

The only fault Lucifer could find was that Sam's health was deteriorating from a lack of food and too much walking. His legs were on fire from constant movement.

When Dean tried to tie Sam to the bed, his body began shaking.

Lucifer deduced that although Sam was no longer walking, his mind still thought it was.

Dean eventually released him so he could drink, knowing it to be the only thing Sam was doing that was healthy.

Other than that, Sam behaved like a cold, lonely soul.

After seven days, Sam was still no better. Nothing they did fixed him or cured him of his strange condition. The two were left to pass the time researching and making fun of Crowley.

At some point, Sam behaved like he could finally hear.

Dean wasn't sure what to believe. 

 

 


	3. Lucifer

**Lucifer's POV**

It was a sudden invitation, to be dragged back to the bunker after being ruthlessly kicked out.

Lucifer thought it was kind of him not to try and break in and seek revenge, instead he chose to look for other Hands of God that didn't require time travel. The demons were diligent and eager to carry out this duty, until Lucifer himself was summoned away.

...and subsequently kept inside a dungeon.

Dean Winchester was brutal in his methods, probably as a result from Alastair's training, but also out of pure concern for Sam's well being.

Lucifer was genuinely surprised when Dean told him that he had left Sam in an awful state. He was even more baffled when he saw Sam with his own eyes. The boy didn't even notice him, nearly knocking him over.

Dean insisted he check Sam, and Lucifer truly was careful, but there was nothing wrong.

Sam was starving, driving his body to the brink of its limit and if his already poor diet and constant self-sacrificing tendencies weren't bad enough, then what Sam was doing now was suicidal.

Together, Lucifer and Dean began searching for an answer, yet the bunker's vast collection of information proved insufficient. Still, they looked, alternating between books and the Internet and telling jokes that would leave Crowley in tears.

Sam continued to act like there was nothing to eat, like most of the water was contaminated and no one was around.

For the first time in eons, Lucifer was lost for what to do.

And Dean had the nerve to blame him. 

He even decked Lucifer with the laptop for good measure.

Lucifer was only mildly apologetic, since Sam _did_ upset him with his constant rejections and forcing him to wear his own brother as a meatsuit.

Dean threatened him with a chair when he finally mentioned this.

The only consolation was that Sam seemed to be hearing things in day seven. He came into the library often, looking around frantically, like he finally thought someone was there.

Dean was worried he wasn't hearing _them_ , but every time they stopped talking, Sam walked away.

He **could** hear them.

Lucifer didn't know what had led to this development. Maybe Sam was going to recover on his own, but Dean was less optimistic. Since the condition was so mysterious, Lucifer offered to let Sam die and resurrect him, but then Dean lifted the table and Lucifer knew Dean was too sensitive for that.

Ultimately, this left them with no options.

After day seven, the two began knocking Sam out to ensure he stayed well, prepared food in a bowl for Sam to eat, and kept the place relatively warm and clean for Sam's comfort.

"Check his dreams," Dean eventually told him.

Lucifer did, but Sam wasn't dreaming. There were no dreams during sleep.

On the tenth day, it was hopeless.

Sam Winchester was kept asleep. Every book was deemed useless. Dean stopped blaming Lucifer for everything.

He claimed it was his own fault.

 


	4. Castiel

**Castiel's POV**

"Any progress?"

Usually, Castiel was allowed to do whatever he wanted inside his own head, so long as he did not try to interfere with Lucifer's plans. However, Castiel could not allow Lucifer to harm Sam in any way, so he had put in the effort to keep the Winchester safe.

He did not fear the consequences.

Lucifer was going to be mad. Lucifer was going to scream and cut and bite and murder him.

That's what Castiel thought.

In truth, Lucifer punched Castiel once and tossed him into this imaginary kitchen. Castiel's inner world was already the bunker, but when he defied Lucifer, the archangel forced him to stay in one room.

Castiel disobeyed this rule only once to fetch the television.

After that, he saw little of Lucifer.

Until one day, Castiel felt his body suffer from agonizing pain, particularly in the cheek.

Castiel could only try to guess what was the cause, but eventually, Lucifer began retreating to the kitchen, to Castiel's mind.

He would sit and sulk and curse Dean here and there for being cruel and stupid and monkey-like.

It left Castiel a little confused.

Lucifer did leave, in the end, only to come back for what must have been days later.

He stomped over to Castiel and looked at him directly in the eyes.

"Tell me, Castiel, do you think you managed to save Sam Winchester from me?"

Castiel nodded.

"Do you think there were no repercussions left for Sam?"

Castiel didn't think so.

From then on, Lucifer often asked Castiel about Sam. It was mostly questions that worried Castiel gradually each time they spoke. Surprisingly, the answers only made Lucifer even more uncomfortable himself.

Castiel nearly broke the television when Lucifer revealed Sam Winchester was terribly ill.

Not even Dean knew why.

Castiel wasn't allowed to prod, that much he knew, so whenever Lucifer returned looking like he had just been insulted by the worst puzzle ever, Castiel would calmly ask for updates.

Every answer made him cringe, but Castiel knew he was of no help, if Lucifer could do nothing.

"We've...put him to sleep. It has been ten days." Lucifer explains, looking worn, and old. "Sam Winchester is going to die from exhaustion, starvation, or from whatever that is causing this." Lucifer massages the bridge of his nose. Castiel watches him, completely uninterested in the television, now turned off. "At least Dean doesn't think I'm behind it." He lets out a dry laugh. "It would be nicer if I was, so this whole situation could quickly finish."

Something clicks in Castiel. "You care about him." Lucifer's glare compels him to rephrase that thought. "About Sam."

Lucifer doesn't argue, doesn't seem to have the energy to argue.

Still, Castiel wants to hear more.

Being powerless is so irritating.

It takes two long minutes for Lucifer to say anything.

"Has Sam...been like this before?"

Castiel doesn't need to think hard to figure out the answer.

"Yes."

The way Lucifer's face lights up makes Castiel wonder why Dean never mentioned this. He can only assume trust was the issue.

"After Sam was pulled from the Cage, his soul was corrupted, and he had memories that needed to be suppressed." Lucifer listens carefully. "According to Dean, Sam suffered violent hallucinations. It took removing them to fix him."

There is a lot missing from the story, but Castiel feels Lucifer doesn't need to know it all.

Lucifer vanishes from the kitchen soon after. 

 

 


	5. Plan B

"I spoke to Castiel."

Dean nearly drops his coffee cup from shock.

"C-Cas? Is he, okay?"

"He's fine." Lucifer shrugs, unwilling to mention all the weird shows he spends his time watching.

Dean sets the cup down carefully.

"What did he say?"

Lucifer lets out a small smile. "It's not what he said, it's what you _didn't_ say." Dean looks confused, so Lucifer approaches him, until they are eye to eye. "I've spent a good long while trying to fix Sam, and yet, the answer was in your head the entire time."

Dean's confused face drives Lucifer to return the freakishly painful slap.

"Ow!"

"What happened after Sam was pulled from the Cage? What were his hallucinations?"

Lucifer demands, voice loud and borderline desperate. He has an aunt to deal with and an army of demons to watch over, not to mention a still rebellious doggie to take care of.

Babysitting was never on his list of activities.

Dean looks at him, hand upon his cheek, with an expression that says he wasn't expecting those questions. Something seems to dawn on him also, in that instant.

"Wait, I thought you _knew_ about the hallucinations!"

"How? I was stuck in the Cage with your half-brother and my mentally deteriorating older brother. How was I supposed to know what was happening topside? Are you even thinking, Winchester?"

Dean is silenced by the outburst.

For years, he thought the hallucinations were a parting gift from Lucifer, left behind intentionally with the purpose of torturing Sam further. Dean didn't care whether that made sense or not. He knew Lucifer was locked up, yet he never canceled out the idea that Lucifer was fully aware of what he had done, what kind of scar he had put on the Winchester.

Isn't that what the hallucinations were, a scar?

"You damaged Sam, in the Cage!"

Lucifer sighs. It's like he's struggling to talk to a five-year-old. Dean can't help but feel offended.

"I tortured Sam, yes, why not? But the side-effects were just that, side-effects. I had no control over them."

The words throw all of Dean's previous theories out the window, except for one.

"So you are responsible for this mess!" Dean can't help but remark.

"Dean." Lucifer sighs again, thoroughly annoyed with the hunter, though he shows no sign of denying the claim. "Like I said, I have spent a lot of time trying to fix this. I even offered to resurrect Sam, no charge! Now let's say the hallucinations were the cause, what do you plan I should do?"

Dean is silent for a moment. "Wait, you still don't have a solution?"

"Knowing the cause at least enables me to think in the right direction. If damage from the Cage was, let's say, reawakened by my penetrating of Sam's soul, then we can at least rule out food poisoning."

Dean ponders for another moment.

"Well, to be honest, I've already looked in that direction, searching about anything related to hallucinations and stuff. I came back with nothing." This leaves Dean with the ability to simply blame Lucifer, but not help Sam. "Besides, last time Sam was like this, it took Cas to remove his hallucinations, and it left the guy mentally unstabled." Dean shudders at the memory of a bee-covered Castiel.

Lucifer just stares at him.

Deep down, Lucifer has realized that Castiel wasn't being entirely informative, having chosen to leave some bits out, important bits he may add. However, judging by Castiel's state of mind, whatever damage he took in is long gone. There's a possibility however, that whatever Castiel used to cure himself, can also cure Sam.

"I think I know where to find the solution." Lucifer suddenly announces.

Dean looks at him questioningly. The answer Lucifer provides is a poke against his - Castiel's - head.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-written for better quality, do tell me if it is better.


	6. Purgatory

Purgatory.

The only realm created by God to never deserve Lucifer's presence.

Crafted with minimum effort and creativity, with bits and pieces stuck together almost hurriedly, there is nothing to admire about this world. It was of course, designed for the sole purpose of housing a society of failures. Hunger-based fiends, which by the grace of God, are no stronger than the archangels.

Otherwise, they would have been a bigger bother than they already were. Just looking at them was cringe-worthy.

An unsightly world for unsightly beasts.

Fortunately, Lucifer is not really in Purgatory, but inside Castiel's memories of it, specifically his very early memories.

Tall trees stand crowding the area, the land grubby and the stench of leaves and corpses fill the air. Feral beings lurk in the shadows and behind mist and fog, and no trace of a civilized world exists. There is very little light too, the whole world looks to be greyed out and everything appears dull, aged, and endless.

Even the lake by which Lucifer stands is a mundane sight, lacking life or energy. Leaves sometimes drift upon it, flow along the shore or sometimes into the horizon, where more forest lands can be seen.

At least the water is clear.

Lucifer has been standing here for a short while, knowing it to be Castiel's next destination. Foul and hungry beasts want him dead, and the angel has no choice but to run. Lakesides aren't the safest locations, but they do provide a chance to rest and deliberate.

Eventually, his younger brother arrives.

Lucifer is slightly taken aback by the dirty, ragged look Castiel now has. As early as this memory is, Castiel has been in Purgatory, well and aware of his surroundings, for some time, and time has done wonders to his outfit.

"A lake." Castiel huffs, completely unaware of Lucifer as he practically plunges into the water and cleans himself with it.

He looks deranged, but the longer Lucifer stares, the more normal Castiel appears. There is a look of ecstasy on Castiel's face, pride and mirth supposedly from surviving horror-inducing encounters. It's not right.

Why is he happy?

Lucifer watches him, pays close attention to everything he does, and listens carefully to his interactions with Dean and a vampire when the latter two come. Everything Castiel does reminds Lucifer nothing of a deranged person.

 _Love is said to cure all wounds_ , Michael once told him.

And that's when it clicks.

Castiel **loved** being in Purgatory. It is a place fit for redemption, a place where he can do no wrong and keep on doing right. The rules here are so simple, so basic. In a world of sophisticated rules and endless chains of command, a single blunder can ruin everything.

But here, Castiel knows what to do and it is impossible for him to fail. Life only needs to continue, and nearly everyone he meets he does not need to fear hurting, or disappointing. It is these crushing fears that drove Castiel to want to submit his body to Lucifer, and allow the archangel to roam free in his stead.

Scanning through the angel's emotions and desires, Lucifer can see that even years after escaping, there is a still longing for this world. Castiel has continued to try and do good since but always feels like he fails. It is a nightmare to him.

Earth and Heaven are merciless towards him, while Purgatory never judged him.

Lucifer won't deny that it makes him sick to see a member of his celestial family enjoy such a barren world. It is unbecoming of such a mighty warrior. Unfortunately, these are the facts about Castiel, and what really concerns Lucifer is the meaning behind such passionate love.

Castiel loved Purgatory so much that all his suffering went away.

In the art of torture, an important rule is to prevent the victim from discovering comfort. If one were cruel enough, they could enable their victim to find it, or think they have, and then yank it away ruthlessly.

If Sam's current state is the result of his suffering in the Cage, then he only needs the right comfort to recover. As Michael stated, love is powerful, and an important component in the lives of many life forms. No torture can fight love's force, as much as Lucifer hates to believe it, and Castiel, the one who incorporated Sam's suffering into himself is living proof of that.

It's a weird concept for Lucifer to digest, but he's never known Michael to lie, and he's not one to disbelieve truths that he's seeing. The Castiel in this memory is literally very much like the one he met back in Hell, all determined and courageous, with just a hint of self-hate.

This would mean Sam simply needs to find something he _truly_ loves, and be with it, in order to go back to being the Sam Winchester he knows.

This however, does not explain Sam's sudden ability to hear conversations, or why Lucifer's actions triggered his condition as badly as they did.

Then he remembers, that Castiel had taken control of his vessel and _then_ pulled out his hand. Contact with Castiel may have somehow given Sam back a part of his lost madness. Castiel may have recovered, but the marks left behind still lingered, undoubtedly.

Memories are a hard thing to handle, and an inexperienced angel is no master in shifting them around. Not even Death can do it right.

Then what about the hearing?

Maybe Sam was coming to terms with things, allowing himself to suffer through whatever hell he was experiencing. Suffering does cease when one gives in, but then maybe, judging from Sam's physical health, he was simply running so low on life and energy that after ten days, the symptoms reduced.

Maybe.

Lucifer can't guarantee anything. If love is truly the solution to this whole situation, then Lucifer needs to find out what makes Sam the most happy, and the only way to do that is to risk going into Sam's mind. There wasn't much there when Lucifer last checked, though he's willing to try again.

Lucifer will find the light to Sam's darkness.

 

 


	7. Relocate

By the time Lucifer returns from dream walking in Castiel's mind, Dean is asleep at last. He had been avoiding sleep for a long time, all because he couldn't stand not being able to fix his brother.

Though to Lucifer, Dean's best method is to sulk.

Lucifer is inside Castiel's room, having chosen to put the two of them to sleep instead of allowing Castiel permission to use his vessel again. Lucifer is not kind enough to grant Dean that happiness and he doesn't want Castiel getting used to any sort of freedom.

Outside the bedroom, everything is still lit, the lights are all on, but there is no hunter walking through the corridors, aimlessly, or another hunter groaning and barking and complaining here and there. Both are out cold.

Dean passed out while still in the kitchen, his coffee having failed to serve its purpose.

As quietly as possible, Lucifer creeps into Sam's room.

There's no point in waking Dean up to let him know about his new plan, for there's a high chance Dean would just yell 'no', regardless if it will help Sam or not. Dean's over-protectiveness is bothersome and Lucifer feels like he has little patience left for the older Winchester.

Sam is lying flat on his bed, his whole body still and stiff in a way that resembles a corpse, which is good, for Lucifer has seen just how badly the body wants to move despite the dangers.

As he moves closer, Lucifer expects to find out why. 

 


	8. Hallucifer

There is nothing inside Sam's mind, it's the same vast emptiness Lucifer saw when he first peered into Sam's head, searching for dreams but came back with nothing. Lucifer tries to look around, to see beyond the faint glow emitting from Nick's form. There seems to be nothing here, no answer, no sign, and it forces Lucifer to wrack his brain and figure out why.

A human's mind shouldn't be this empty, unless of course they are dead, but Sam's alive. This means that something is terribly off.

Lucifer reaches out and grasps nothing in all directions. The light of his grace enables him to see less than a kilometer away. He tries to push, make it brighter and larger, but the darkness appears to fight back, swallow any speck of light that ends up too far.

Then it dawns on him.

What if Sam's mind hasn't gone blank?

What if Sam's mind is simply shielded from the outside world?

The world Sam was exposed to in his waking hours is a product of his hallucinations, and even while asleep, the hallucinations continue to house Sam, keep him from seeing the real bunker and its inhabitants. Behind this black cloak may very well be a land of nightmares, of every method of torture Lucifer has ever thrown in Sam's way.

The hallucinations don't want to be stopped, not again. Last time, Castiel was able to drive them all out, free Sam from their clutches. _Cas took away Sam's hallucinations_ , Dean said, and both ultimately recovered. Things have only gone back to what they were before, or at least similar to, because all the little fragments left in Castiel returned.

This is a second chance to kill Sam, and it's all because of Lucifer and his anger that Sam is now stuck like this.

Dean is right, this is all Lucifer's fault.

He can try to justify what he did, explain how much Sam has upset him, talk about his many years spent in the Cage, just waiting for Sam, his true vessel, the one person promised to understand him.

It was a major disappointment, what Sam turned out to be.

In the simplest term, he was Lucifer's new jailor.

It felt utterly wrong not to bite back against Sam, to turn the tables and make Sam realize just how badly he was hurt, how his trust was so easily brushed aside.

Dean should be happy at least, that Lucifer didn't fight Death over Sam's soul when the latter came for it. It wasn't because he knew better, but because Sam didn't belong there, in the Cage.

He saved the world, he might as well get a reward.

Despite Lucifer's newfound reasoning, the reward didn't exactly come by. The bloody acts committed in the Cage left Sam's mind in such a state it created hallucinations, life-threatening hallucinations. Had Lucifer felt eager to punish Sam further, he would have likely enjoyed the sight of a mentally-deranged Sam Winchester. Everything he would see, would have been his own lust for revenge destroying Sam.

At this point, Lucifer feels like he might actually feel guilty had he seen Sam back then.

He hates feeling guilty.

Nowadays, it's just Lucifer throwing tantrums, or at least hurting people without consideration. He could rule out many he'd never care for, consequences or none, but Sam is different. They were made for each other, two halves of a whole that Sam refuses to fit together.

At least now, Lucifer is trying to take back what he did by fixing Sam up any way he can.

As long as Crowley doesn't escape, Lucifer thinks he has the time.

Stupid demon.

"Hello..."

Lucifer spins around, and catches the first sight of something tangible in this near darkness. He sees half a body, the rest of it shadowed, but the voice alone has his mind racing. It's familiar, _too_ familiar. Small footsteps allow him to confirm his suspicions on the speaker's identity.

The archangel is startled by what he sees.

It's Nick, or at least, somebody in the guise of Nick. There is literally no difference in terms of appearance between himself and the entity standing before him, smiling, and reminding Lucifer so much of his own evil smirks.

Did Sam's hallucinations conjure up a fake Lucifer?

Instantly, Lucifer can tell that this representation of Sam's suffering is not welcome to him, yet he's too proud to walk away, much less run. He also doesn't want to leave before he has some answers.

"Who are you?"

He's not going to refer to this entity as himself, or by his name. Despite the similarities, there is something purely twisted about the being in front of him. It tastes like demon and smells like pain. This truly is the center of Sam's experience in Hell.

Not-Lucifer looks at him with great amusement in his eyes.

"Call me Hal."

Just then, a chain comes down from above and wraps itself around Lucifer's neck, and hauls him up. The archangel flails desperately as his neck rapidly contracts under the force of the metal. This torture method is what Lucifer used on Sam back in the very early days inside the Cage.

He remembers hearing Michael scream at him over it, saying it was no use getting angry at Sam.

Lucifer's beginning to think maybe there wasn't.

Hal snickers. "I won't let you rescue Sam Winchester. He's my bunk buddy, not yours, Luci."

Never in a billion years would Lucifer imagine himself to be his own worst enemy, nor would he imagine his own torture methods to backfire on him. It shouldn't be possible, yet the derailing of the Apocalypse should have been enough proof that fate doesn't have an absolute hold on things, and basically anything can happen.

Lucifer knows that if he manages to beat Hal, he will be able to reach Sam and break him out of this stupor, maybe not whole, but at least functioning enough that he and Dean can finally communicate with him. After that, Lucifer will find out what makes Sam feel happy the most.

He's got a few guesses, among them being Jessica and Stanford University, but in his current predicament, Lucifer is going to be ripped to shreds, so his top priority is to escape first.

Then he realizes he can't.

The darkness has him surrounded, bound within its walls, and unless someone contacts Castiel outside, he's doomed.

And so is Sam.

"Hahahahaha!!" Hal's maniac laugh fills the endless space around them.

 

 


	9. Meanwhile

Dean was admittedly angry at himself for passing out like that, sitting on the kitchen counter with his arm as a pillow. It was uncomfortable enough to leave him stiff when he woke up. He knows he needs more sleep, lots of it, and would have been better off getting Lucifer to knock him out, but Dean is no fool to let Lucifer do whatever he pleases in here.

Besides, Dean's priority is to take care of Sam, even if it means hurting himself.

Dean leaves the kitchen the moment he can, and his first concern is Lucifer. He searches the bunker, heads for the library and the war room first, before searching the bedrooms, despite knowing angels don't sleep.

The hunter is left more than bewildered when he finds Lucifer indeed asleep, half on top of Sam, with a hand on his brother's forehead.

Dean's mind is quick to jump to conclusions, suspects Lucifer is playing dirty and clearly avoided notifying Dean about this because he knew it was bad. It is, and the first thing that stops Dean from throwing fists is the close proximity between Lucifer and Sam. It's not worth the risk of causing casualties.

Then Dean realizes something, takes note of the two fingers still somewhat pressed against Sam's forehead. Angels poke people's foreheads for many reasons, such as healing and passing on information, as well as reading minds.

Then it makes sense.

Lucifer is inside Sam's mind, and as much as that irritates Dean, who's aware this is something to be avoided on most occasions, knowing what Lucifer does to people, there's a feeling in the back of Dean's mind that tells him Lucifer is not messing around, but trying to fix things. Sam's mind is already a mess, it would only be a hazard for an archangel to go in there anyway.

Dean has always wanted to avoid this situation, only lets himself give the green light, but what if traveling into Sam's mind is the only option? Dean tries to calm himself, let his body relax, but it tenses within seconds when he notices something else.

Angels don't sleep, yet Lucifer appears to be doing just that.

Something's wrong.

Dean checks Sam's pulse to confirm he's still in a deep, forced sleep, and then checks on Lucifer, but finds he's completely out cold, oblivious to the callings of his name. Dean shakes the angel awake, and what flutters its eyes open at him is indeed an angel.

"Dean?"

The gravelly voice marks the return of Castiel.

Joy fills the hunter, but not as quick as worry. _Where's Lucifer?_

 


	10. Rescue

Castiel knew he shouldn't be watching commercials about pizza boys delivering pizza to at-home-alone young women, but when his mind decided there should be a channel for that, Castiel didn't bother resisting.

He told himself it was educational, but the Winchester brothers already told him many times that it was wrong.

Especially for an angel.

At least the commercials helped to ease his worried heart. Having to talk about anything even remotely about the Leviathans makes Castiel feel majorly depressed. The outbreak of such breasts is just one of many mistakes he's made, counting back to his fledging days.

He will never forgive himself for accidentally plucking a handful of Hester's feathers.

Even if it was her fault for trying to make him fly off a cliff.

Not to mention, Sam Winchester is not doing well, despite his attempts to rescue him from Lucifer, and now Lucifer is one of two people responsible for trying to cure Sam. There is really nothing Castiel can think of that can explain Sam's condition or help make things better.

Nothing.

So he's left to indulge with a couple of commercials.

Until he realizes Lucifer is no longer present inside his vessel, as in, gone.

When he feels someone trying to shake him awake, Castiel is obliged to respond. He opens his vessel's eyes to see Dean looming over him, looking a little too worried for Castiel's comfort.

"Dean?"

Relief seems to flood Dean's features before the worry replaces it within seconds.

Dean pulls back as he stares at Castiel, as if searching for an answer. Castiel himself isn't sure how to feel upon seeing Dean, knowing he had said "yes" to Lucifer without Dean's knowledge and against their efforts to keep the Devil locked up. He feels guilty, again.

But then he notices a lump next to him and looks down to find Sam lying next to him.

Castiel nearly jumps away in shock.

Sam looks....pale, sickly, and a bit too skinny. He reminds Castiel of a corpse.

It's a scary sight.

"Cas." The angel looks up to meet his friend's eyes. "Where's Lucifer?"

Good question.

They both turn to the sleeping face of Sam Winchester, as if they've managed to come to the same conclusion. Castiel was also somewhat aware of his own hand being on Sam's head, and Dean will probably never forget the many times he tapped his forehead with that same hand.

"Do you think...he's in there?"

Castiel wonders why Lucifer never told him about this, instead he left Castiel all alone. It makes him feel inferior and a bit more worthless, though he shoves the feelings down and tries to focus on the situation. It's hard to say he cares for his rebellious older brother, but if Lucifer is where he think he is, it would be wrong to just abandon him.

It _would_ be returning the favor, but Castiel isn't naturally cruel. He reaches out to touch Sam's forehead again, to go inside Sam's mind and find the archangel, but Dean grabs his wrist.

"Whoa, hey hey, explain to me, Cas, what just happened?"

It's quite a grip Dean has on him, a true testament to his worries. There's none of the disappointment that Castiel's been expecting, just a single-minded purpose in the hunter's eyes that reveals how much Dean cares about Sam.

It's touching, and Castiel finds himself relaxing under a look that doesn't yell _hate_ or _disgust_.

He turns his own eyes back on Sam.

"I don't know."

Dean seems to deflate a bit, his hold loosens. Whatever they need to say to each other can wait, that much is certain. Castiel can't allow Lucifer to remain trapped, so he resumes reaching forward, until two fingers touch the surface of skin.

He gathers energy from within, and thrusts it through his fingers. It connects with Lucifer, soon after.

He makes the connection nice strong.

And then, Castiel is knocked off the bed by a gigantic force.

"Cas!"

 


	11. Sam's Likes

"Who is Hal?"

Apparently, there's no better way to greet an archangel after he snuck into your brother's head then to give him an ice pack, for what appears to be an invisible wound around the neck. Castiel managed to rescue Lucifer, pulling him from whatever nightmare was controlling Sam.

Lucifer had been in such a hurry to get out that he sent Castiel flying backwards, before taking possession immediately.

Little was said about what Lucifer saw. What is most clear is that he somehow injured his neck, even though there are no injuries to be seen. All Lucifer said was Sam's mind is a dangerous place, a pit of darkness.

It makes Dean want to scream and punch something all over again.

Preferably Lucifer, due to the lack of permission to venture into that mind in the first place. It stings, even if Lucifer meant no harm.

Currently, the pair are in the kitchen, back to where they first started before Lucifer walked off and left Dean to pass out. The place is slowly becoming a symbol of failure, where two men return once they have no options left.

"No idea." Dean shrugs.

Lucifer studies him for a moment.

"Answer me truthfully, after Sam left the Cage and started remembering it, did he have hallucinations about me?"

Dean's surprise and silence confirms that _yes_ , Dean does know about Hal.

He may have simply known him as _Lucifer_.

"What makes you say that?"

Dean looks really uncomfortable, Lucifer notes.

"Let's say I met that version of me, the twisted, Hell-related version of me that tormented Sam before and intends to do so again."

'Wait, wait, you saw yourself in there?"

"As I was saying," Lucifer tries not to sigh. "That's not _me_. I'm me. That thing that calls itself Hal is a byproduct of Sam's time in Hell. Okay, so I admit, I'm responsible for his creation, and don't think I don't want it eradicated. It literally choked me around the neck."

Things begin to make sense for Dean.

He'd never really considered Sam's hallucinations as real by any standard. He always told himself that the real Lucifer was stuck in the depths of Hell during the time Sam suffered from his hallucinations. There was no way he could escape. Unfortunately, he had left Sam with a lot of problems that couldn't be solved with sleep or any known medication.

Castiel alone was able to solve it, and it drove himself over the edge.

How he recovered in the end, Dean has no clue.

Though to think, said hallucination tormented its real-life counterpart sounds a little suspicious, though Dean has learned to trust Lucifer to some extent. The way he's drenching his neck in cold and ice proves that he really didn't have a fantastic time meeting Hal.

It's safe to say he risked his own existence trying to fix what wrongs he did to Sam.

Dean can't help but feel a tiny bit grateful.

In addition, Lucifer has finally admitted to being the cause of Sam's crazy.

Dean knew it he was right!

"So what now?"

Lucifer sighs, his face reads that he's relieved Dean isn't bombarding him with anymore childish questions.

"I need to get rid of Hal somehow. He's the barrier between us and Sam. However, inside Sam's mind, he's in full control, and I'm powerless. Our only option is to wake Sam up and try to surround him with things he's loves, as a means of weakening Hal's influence."

"Explain." Looks like Lucifer's been doing research on his own.

"I've deduced that the madness Castiel took in was cured through indulging oneself in what one loves the most. It's basically the opposite of torture." Lucifer eyes Dean knowingly. "You should be well informed how torture works."

Dean cringes, and feels half-tempted to hit Lucifer with a chair. Of course he's educated on the subject, Alastair barely talked about anything else.

"Yeah, I get it, but what did Cas do to cure himself?"

"Repentance."

Dean is reminded of his and Castiel's time in Purgatory, the aftermath, and Castiel's last words concerning the matter, not to mention the angel's determination to make right all he's done wrong, only to fail over and over, but maybe not as bad as he thinks, though Dean can't say he's done everything perfectly.

He won't blame him though, not for past acts, since both Dean and Sam have had their fair share of bad choices.

But Castiel, he's always wanted to fix things, Winchester-style, by sacrificing himself.

To think he truly enjoyed doing that.

Dean never found it fun.

"So, what does Sam love?"

"You're his brother, Dean, you should know best." Dean hangs his head. "I suppose it's his girlfriend, Jessica Moore, or maybe his other prominent lovers, like Madison, Dr. Cara, Ruby," Dean chokes at the name. "Amelia?"

It's a list Dean is familiar with, yet all of these girls are either dead or unavailable. To ask them to appear to Sam to appease him sounds a lot like hiring a hooker, and it may include telling them more than they should know. There's also no guarantee any of these women (excluding Ruby) will help Sam.

Sam doesn't even see his own brother and best friend!

"What are Sam's favorite activities?" Lucifer asks, truly interested.

"Reading, like studying or researching. He likes rabbit food. Playing poker maybe, he's awfully good at it."

"How about things he's never done but dreams of doing?"

"Well, there's becoming a lawyer, living normally, settling down, even going to Disneyland."

The look Lucifer sends him is one pure bafflement. Dean tries not to laugh at the latter's expense. He fails quite a bit.

"There's also a desire to meet our mom, I guess, maybe even see dad again."

Dean's not so sure about these ones. He supposes they are his own desires, not so much Sam's.

"I feel as though, to our misfortune, what he loves most is a secret he's kept from you."

Dean hates how he can't deny this.

 

 


	12. Sam's Belongings

Keeping secrets between each other was a common practice of the Winchester family, in fact, it might have been a rule since the first man or woman to hold the surname. Everyone of his father's side has proven to hold at least one secret from his family, whether intentional or not.

Mary was no exception, and maybe it was even the cost of becoming a Winchester.

Dean and Sam didn't like telling each other the truth much, usually because they felt the truth would ruin their relationship. It was a silly belief that somehow persisted for years and years, despite the awful setbacks they've experienced from discovering each other's secrets.

That's why, shortly after the Darkness' release, Dean and Sam promised to try and tell each other more things.

Apparently, this only included recent facts, not anything from the past before the agreement was made, which leaves Dean with a difficult situation. He's got Sam in a state of unresponsiveness and the only known way to cure him is to give Sam something he loves.

Dean's already listed the number of things he knows Sam holds dear, but none seem possible to achieve. They can't get Sam to do anything if he doesn't respond, and anyone Dean knows that makes Sam's heart flutter is generally unavailable.

His best guess is Sam has someone else he never told Dean about, someone who might be available, and who might be able to help them. The only way to find out is to search Sam's belongings, as angry as Sam would be if he knew about it, and that is what Dean is doing right now.

Snooping around Sam's room like the rule never to do so no longer exists.

Lucifer is perched on the end of Sam's bed next to Sam's feet, while Dean looks around. Dean won't let Lucifer touch anything, not enough trust and still too much resentment to let him have that luxury.

Lucifer doesn't seem to mind either way, though he's quick to reprimand Dean whenever he knocks something over.

"Damn it!"

Dean curses, fully aware Sam won't wake up, but also aware half the shelf is now missing stuff. Again.

"Dean..." Lucifer groans.

This is the third time he's had to tell Dean off, not that it makes any difference, seeing as how desperate Dean is to find some unknown personal object, uncaring if his desperation is only going to cause more problems.

It doesn't help that Dean has found a Stanford text book, a photograph of their beloved Bobby Singer, and his long-lost amulet. Dean basically lost his cool after the last one.

Dean finally takes a breath while Lucifer picks up one of the dropped boxes, intent on putting it back, but the rattling sound it makes piques his curiosity enough for him to want to open it, just this one thing.

When Dean catches him, he's a little more than annoyed.

"Hey, I said you can't touch stuff."

Lucifer completely ignores Dean at the sight of the odd-looking DVD cover.

"Casa Erotica 13?"

Well, maybe not odd-looking, but not the kind of thing Lucifer expected to find among Sam's possessions.

Dean freezes long enough for Lucifer to realize he found something important.

 


	13. Reason

"Big brother, what was that?"

Chuckle. "It's called a kiss, Gabriel."

"Can I have more?"

"Sure." Kiss. Kiss.

Once upon a time, Lucifer introduced Gabriel to the act of kissing another's cheek to show affection. He remembers decorating Gabriel's entire face with kisses until the fledging nearly passed out, completely filled with love.

* * *

They've relocated again, since Sam's room is a mess and Dean doesn't think it's nice to talk about a porn DVD in front of his half-dead brother. It's a guess, but Lucifer lets himself be guided out the room and into the hall, but not back into the kitchen.

He wants to make sure this isn't Dean expressing his hedonistic desires at an unconventional time.

Dean coughs into his fist.

"That's a...gift to us, from Gabriel."

The answer puts Lucifer into freeze-mode this time.

The reception on Castiel's television briefly falters as a result. It was playing teletubbies.

Dean scratches the back of his head, like the mere mention of Gabriel is discomforting and unwanted, and Lucifer really can't help but agree, yet both know this is important, or may very well be important.

"Look, not to offend you or anything, but before you ganked him, Gabriel left us with instructions on how to use the rings to lock you up. He hid a message in this DVD. It's...part-porn, part-saving the world kind of message."

Lucifer doesn't proclaim Dean a liar, because he knows he's being very honest, but Lucifer hates knowing just how Gabriel betrayed him. He realized the Winchesters had discovered the use of the rings when they began hunting down the Horsemen, but he never suspected Gabriel to the the informant.

It hurts on so many levels, but Lucifer swallows down all his old wounds and lets himself focus on the matter at hand.

"The Apocalypse was five years ago, why keep this?"

Dean shrugs, but his expression implies the answer might be for pornographic reasons, though they both hate to think Sam would watch porn made by Gabriel.

Unless...

"Is that all he put on this?"

Dean tilts his head, not in a thinking kind of way, but in a 'I don't think so' kind of way. He's also implying that maybe his mind has no useful information on matter, that maybe he's wrong. It irks Lucifer.

"Hey, we got the message we needed, after that, it was...Gabriel with some blonde chick I didn't need watching."

Then why? Why does Sam keep such an item, stashed away in his room?

"How was your relationship with my brother?"

"Awful."

Dean answers without hesitation.

"You both hated him?"

"Yeah, I'm sure Sam more than me, since he tortured Sam by killing me a hundred times." Dean shudders.

Lucifer looks at the DVD again, not so much at the cover but at the possible meaning behind its continued existence. It was kept, practically hidden, in a room full of personal objects. Most likely, it is the only DVD ever produced by Gabriel himself.

There must surely be a logical reason behind this.

"Dean, how many times has your expectations of Sam not been met?"

Memories of the time Sam did not rescue him from Purgatory, the time Sam proved to have been working very intimately with a demon, and the numerous times Sam proved more manly and capable than ever imagined, all flow through the forefront of Dean's mind, leaving him speechless.

Did Sam not hate Gabriel?

Did he not?

 

 


	14. Solution

The answer to the question on whether Sam ever hated Gabriel is both useless and unknown.

Gabriel is dead, stabbed through the gut and left as nothing but a lump of flesh on the floor of a fancy motel. Lucifer can confirm that, since he was the one who committed the act, but of all the murders, this one is the only one he doesn't need reminding of.

There's no pleasure nor enjoyment in the memory of it, nothing but a sharp sting of regret and pain, and only through his unyielding sense of self-preservation and a lack of desire to worry about the past, that Lucifer does not feel utterly broken by the incident.

The fact that Gabriel could be an asset to the situation does nothing to help.

Dean is tempted to contradict that, make a statement about the impossibility of Gabriel being the cure to Sam's condition, but Lucifer doesn't want to hear anymore. He can tolerate having Gabriel's last words being the reason for his re-imprisonment in the Cage, but he doesn't need Dean mouthing off about his long-gone brother.

He manages to get four words out before Lucifer silences him with a finger and what may have been a death glare if he chose to notice. Dean recoils slightly, but still looks irritated by the apparent lack of progress and the potential of Sam's room becoming a greater mess due to more searching.

Searching that might bring forth no results.

Lucifer is not sure what to do with the DVD, since it clearly has no more information to give yet there is nothing else left of Gabriel to present to Sam, should he prove to be the solution.

To remind himself that he's the reason Gabriel can't be here and they might as well search again is upsetting. Lucifer never expected his second comeback to end up this complicated, and he's _still_ got demons and Crowley to worry about and an annoying aunt to put back into place.

He's not even sure why he still bothers to fix what might not even be fixable. He hasn't stopped considering death as Sam's sole solution, and even a complete brainwash of Sam's mind, but without even asking, it's clear Dean won't allow it and Sam won't be too happy to be stuck with either.

The sense of responsibility keeps Lucifer rooted on the spot, along with a lingering affection for the younger Winchester, who was supposed to be his other half, but became his downfall.

He and Gabriel share the reputation of being the only two people to break Lucifer's heart and make him regret punishing them for it.

The DVD box cracks slightly under his grip, to Dean's surprise.

"Uhh, Lucifer, you're breaking it."

Lucifer lets out a heavy sigh.

"I know."

He loosens the hold and shoves everything into Dean's hands.

"There's no point in thinking about Gabriel because he's dead. I'm not even motivated to try."

"B-but we gotta do something! I can't keep wrecking Sam's room and find nothing."

"Then use what we've already found, like that amulet he kept."

Dean doesn't look too pleased with the idea. It's clear Dean didn't expect to find it, and is too bothered with questions than to be ready to use it for anything, but Lucifer's tough voice leaves little room for argument and it's clear that they can't stand around arguing.

Unless they agree Sam should die.

Lucifer pulls Sam out of his sleep, as Dean holds the amulet nearby. Sam awakens with blurry eyes and struggles to rise, energy bars supposedly depleted from a lack of food for hours. Lucifer helps him to his feet and tries to keep him still when he decides to walk again.

Dean holds up the amulet to Sam's face, but Sam doesn't seem to register it. The two begin talking but Sam only nods in their direction, like he's lost so much energy and will power that any reaction will be too small to notice.

Dean eventually decides to shove the Casa Erotica DVD into Sam's hands and force him to look at it.

No response.

"Get the laptop!"

Lucifer does just that and they play the video while forcing Sam to watch it.

The appearance of Gabriel in a weird mustache makes Lucifer feel all kinds of weird tingly sensations.

As for Sam, his body starts hyperventilating.

Things escalate when Sam sheds fat tears and won't stop until the frantic duo agree to knock him out again. Sam's first and only words were "Gabe" and this pretty much confirms that...

"You fuck up everything," according to Dean.

Lucifer makes no attempt to deny the accusation as they drag Sam back to his room and onto the bed.

Now, the only problem is, how to bring Gabriel back into Sam's life?

 

 


	15. Pray

"Come again?"

They're in the kitchen, again.

"Dean, this is the only solution I have, other than outright killing Sam then bringing him back, and the more I think about it, the less sure I am even that will work."

"Well I ain't having him brainwashed." Dean huffs and folds his arms across his chest.

"Exactly," Lucifer leans forward. "so all we're left with is my father's help."

"You know, last time I checked, you and God didn't get along well."

Lucifer falls back into his seat.

"That hasn't changed, but if God is still alive then we need his help to bring my brother back."

"Isn't there a simpler way of doing this?" Dean looks ready to faint from stress and disbelief.

"If there was, I don't see it." Lucifer sighs. "Look, I killed Gabriel, and I did this to Sam, and I've tried to fix it, but nothing works, nothing we're willing to try. I can't defeat Hal inside his own paradise, so our only option is to--"

"Fucking pray."

It's something neither can think fondly of, in any capacity.

* * *

"You should try harder."

Castiel encourages from his usual place in front of the television, though Lucifer looks absolutely disinteresed in contiuning his prayers to God. It's been three hours and Dean has already decided to pass out or risk dying himself.

This leaves Lucifer with Castiel, his roommate.

"I've tried every prayer I know, even talking. Bluntly."

There's sorrow in Castiel's eyes that Lucifer doesn't notice, not from his little spot in the kitchen. He's sitting by the door, all curled up and ready to either erupt in righteous indignation or walk away and pretend he never visited this place, in real life or in Castiel's mind.

It's true to say that Castiel has tried helping, ever since he began hearing prayers from both Lucifer and Dean through his vessel's ears. The fact that thirty minutes wasn't enough upsets Castiel, and this has gotten worse until once again, the television is an object to be ignored.

It cannot comfort him with such matters.

Though why Lucifer wants God's help all of a sudden, Castiel doesn't know, but he's willing to be of assistance, as always.

Lucifer doesn't move or do anything when his younger brother comes to sit next to him. Castiel claps his hands together and prays, encouraging Lucifer to do the same and they remain like that for what feels like an eternity.

It takes two more hours before Lucifer decides he's out of the game.

 

 


	16. Separation

"I'vebeengoodI'vebeengoodI'vebeengood...."

Crowley chants this as a mantra upon seeing Lucifer storm into his former castle with such fury it scares any potential demonic followers back to their creator. Although many opposed him, Crowley still sought out allies to help him win back the throne, and just as he was coming close to managing this, Lucifer returns.

Crowley blames Simmons and Lee for their loyalty to Lucifer, and for wasting his time for days.

He had a whole week to escape the kennel and become king, but these two wouldn't let him.

All the demons flock back to Lucifer's side as the archangel sits upon his throne and receives all the updates on Hands of God. There aren't many to be found, but Lucifer accepts all reports and gives out praises with a charming smile.

Lucifer then orders for updates on the Darkness and actually decides to care about the number of souls in Hell and how Hell is managing as a domain. It pleases his followers so much that they look like kids getting their wishes granted from Santa.

Meanwhile, Crowley is forced to keep apologizing.

Lucifer even gave Simmons and Lee weapons to use should Crowley stop.

"I'vebeengoodI'vebeengoodI'vebeengood...I swear I've been good...!"

No one believes him, of course.

* * *

Dean wakes up half-aware he's in the bunker. There's a throbbing headache born from his poor sleeping posture and many a days being worried about his brother. This is despite Dean finally using his own bed and not the kitchen counter.

It takes a while for him to realize what he was last doing, and he realizes with disgust in his mouth that he was literally praying to God for help.

He doesn't want to keep trying, but he knows he really has no choice.

Dean exits his bedroom in search of Lucifer, but comes up empty-handed. Lucifer is nowhere in sight. Castiel is gone too. Dean is beyond furious to find that the archangel had most likely abandoned him. The genuine effort Lucifer put into trying to fix Sam had knocked away the thought of him bailing, and now Dean is left to punch a wall in regret.

He goes so far as to question why he even let the archangel out of the dungeon for so long.

This means they're back to being enemies, who may share a common problem - that being the Darkness - but Dean still sees Lucifer as a nuisance who needs to put back in the Cage. Lucifer, on the other hand, undoubtedly sees Dean as 'a pain in his ass', just as he once told him.

There's nothing Dean can do, he has no weapon to make the fight to rescue Earth easier. He's still one man short and with no clear way of bringing said man back, or the angel. Dean spends a few hours tossing stuff around until they crack and snap and become useless, just like the way he feels.

He wishes the world would stop making things difficult for him.

After what must have been an extra hour mulling, Dean comes to a point where his preferences don't matter anymore. He sits himself down in the war room and prays.

Dean willingly prays to God.

 

 


	17. Goddess of Time and Change

The stability of Hell and a lack of rebellion was comforting to Lucifer, though he did not waste time enjoying the few pleasures he could get from having such faithful servants. Instead, he ordered the immediate retrieval of various Hands of God, one of which he recognized was a weapon belonging to Heaven.

Among the locations were, to his surprise, the land of the Hindu gods.

As much as he'd rather forget about Elysian Fields and all of its inhabitants, the situation calls for him to remember Kali, the sole survivor of his massacre who was a deity, or a self-proclaimed deity. It was because of Gabriel that she survived. It irks him still, how betrayed Gabriel's final acts make him feel.

As demons bring in two more Hands from around the world, Lucifer decides to retrieve this particular one himself. With Crowley locked up in his kennel and heavily guarded by trustworthy followers such as Simmons and Lee, Lucifer heads out alone to meet Kali, and may hopefully kill her.

The palace in which Kali resides is in another plane of existence, for most great religious figures have their own worlds, yet they still require the worshipping of their followers to maintain power.

Kali is one of the last Hindu gods left, thanks to Lucifer.

Unfortunately, Kali is also the leader of one of the most powerful religions in the world.

Still, she continues to pose no threat to him.

Kali is in the middle of some Hindu ceremony when Lucifer literally pops into her private quarters. She knocks over a beautiful vase when she spins round and sees him. Unlike the last time they met, Kali is now wearing a golden silk saree. It seems rather fitting, though Lucifer couldn't care less.

"Lucifer."

She addresses, or more accurately, hisses at him.

Lucifer merely smiles in response and takes small steps towards her. Kali backs against the shrine. She is completely defenseless.

"I assume you are busy, however, I am in dire need of a special object you have."

Lucifer knows exactly what he's looking for, so she can't lie.

"I won't give you anything. Now leave."

She seems desperate enough to use the candles against him, like fire made by her kind can do anything to him. He tries not to roll his eyes, but fails, leading him to spot something in the far corner of her room.

His jaw nearly drops.

"What, are you doing with that?"

Kali follows his gaze and where he's pointing to. Hanging by a simple, red coat hanger is Gabriel's jacket.

"A memento."

"Were you really sexually involved with him?"

Kali turns to look at Lucifer, and finds his eyes still stuck on the jacket, wide and half-blown, like the sight of it has tipped his world upside down. It's unconventional to keep clothing of a dead former lover in your room, at least in her culture, but Kali couldn't help but respect the angel who saved her life and proved himself the most loyal.

"Why does it matter to you?"

It's not like he can't come back to retrieve the Hand of God later.

"I need you to bring him back." Lucifer says.

Kali examines him, tries to decipher the meaning behind his words, but unlike the barbarian she met five years ago, this person is far more concerned with Loki, aka Gabriel. He seems genuinely in need of this long gone person, not the flesh and blood of a living one.

However...

"It won't last."

She knows, because she tried.

 

 


	18. Gabriel

A row of sailor-style profanities gets interrupted by the sudden arrival of Lucifer.

Dean jumps nearly two feet in the air and off his chair when the archangel suddenly returns, bearing company.

The hunter is rendered utterly speechless by the sight of the golden-haired miniature angel.

Admittedly, miniature is an insult.

But Gabriel is a short angel, or at least his vessel is.

Either way, he is here, standing right next to Lucifer with the latter's arm draped over the back of his shoulder. Neither of them look pleased, while Dean doesn't really know how to feel.

Did God answer his prayers?

Something tells him that's still very unlikely.

"Dean," Lucifer calls, tone deep, almost like Castiel. "it's time to wake up Sam."

Gabriel says nothing as Dean's eyes roam his body. He doesn't even try to smile. Dean doesn't complain. He leads the pair in the direction of Sam's room, all the while ready to burst out a number of questions, but is too sensible to even try one.

Now is not the time.

* * *

Dean and Gabriel stand side by side at the foot of Sam's bed as Lucifer leans over carefully and presses his hand firm on Sam's forehead. The Winchester's eyes blink open, slowly, as if to re-adjust, then he attempts to rise.

Lucifer helps him into sitting position, but stops dead afterwards so Sam can look up and spot the angel across from him.

Sam freezes. For the first time, he freezes on his own.

Somehow, color seems to briefly return to Sam's skin, and his eyes brighten as if life has found its way back.

"G-G-Gabe?"

Gabriel presents a smile.

"Hey, kiddo."

Despite the lack of food and water, Sam is able to lung forward and pull Gabriel into a tight hug. He squeezes the archangel tightly, and allows tears to flow down his cheeks. Gabriel returns the gesture by wrapping his arms as far around the other's back as he can.

Sam trembles.

It is the greatest response Dean has seen from him in weeks.

"Gabe...I...can't, it hurts."

Gabriel nods into Sam's shoulder. He begins carding through the hunter's hair. It is instantly clear that it needs combing.

"I know, kiddo, but trust me, you're doing fine." Sam's arms tighten around the archangel, and Dean thinks he's hurting him, but in truth, Gabriel feels no pain. "I told you, didn't I? That you'd make it out of this, whatever disaster you've put yourself into. I know you can do it, with or without Dean."

Sam steadily pulls back to look at Gabriel in the eyes. There is a big smile on Gabriel's face that contrasts the broken look on Sam's own.

"Nothing's your fault, kiddo. You can keep blaming yourself, but it won't do you any good. Remember all the things I taught you?"

Dean has no clue when the two had said conversation, but Sam nods, clearly aware of what time frame is being referred to. It almost hurts to know that Sam may have sought comfort in Gabriel during the Apocalypse, behind his back no less.

Secrets really are a pain.

"Good. Now, are you going to let some nightmare or bad memory torture you?" Sam slowly shakes his head. "Then fight it, Sam. Fight it like you mean it!"

"Will you....be here, while I...do that?"

Lucifer inhales sharply, though no one notices. He already knows the answer.

Gabriel's loving expression doesn't falter, nor does the comforting voice change. He caresses Sam's cheek with a fondness that seems almost practiced, like they've been in this position before, curled up against each other.

Dean wouldn't mind letting them stay like this, if it were for Sam's sake. 

"Not me, but Luci will."

All eyes snap to Lucifer, who is more than confused by the sudden announcement.

Dean and Sam stare at him in surprise, but Gabriel sends Lucifer a private, knowing look that leaves Lucifer feeling sick.

It's not clear what his younger brother is planning, or has planned, but Lucifer doesn't like it. His best guess is that Gabriel is planning to dump Sam onto him. It's a twisted thing to do, since Lucifer was never one to openly tend to any human, not even Sam.

Especially when Sam clearly holds Gabriel dearer.

"R-Really?" Sam asks Gabriel, and the archangel nods.

Lucifer wants to slap him freakishly hard for making such a suggestion. Dean is rather speechless.

Sam, on the other hand, isn't entirely happy with the thought either.

"But...why won't you stay?"

Sam's eyes flicker up towards Dean, but he's not looking _at_ Dean. There's someone there. Someone only Sam can see. It takes a single second for Lucifer and Dean to figure out who.

"Look at me, kiddo. I care about you, don't listen to what anyone else says. You are an awesome person and I admire you, a great deal." This seems to lighten Sam's mood, and make him ignore the unwanted presence. "But I'm only here to remind you of that stuff, Luci can take over. He cares about you too." Lucifer shakes his head at Dean. "Just, try not to upset him, okay? Promise?"

Sam seems ready to burst into more tears, maybe even reject all that has been said, but he keeps it in, hardens himself and gives the archangel a quick but firm nod.

Gabriel's smile is full of pride, and he leans in to kiss Sam' on the lips.

Dean jumps back slightly, mildly bewildered.

Lucifer balls his hands into fists, in discomfort.

Whatever made Sam look pale and ill, or zombie-like, seems to flush out of him from the kiss. Sam opens his eyes and smiles at Gabriel. They hug. Gabriel then sneaks a hand towards Sam's forehead, and with a blank expression, he says,

"Go to sleep, kiddo."

Sam drops onto the bed, once again out cold.

No one moves or says anything for a while.

"How long do have I left?"

Lucifer reaches in to Castiel's trench coat pocket and pulls out an hourglass.

"Twenty minutes, at most."

Gabriel lets out a fond smile before he climbs off the bed. He takes the hourglass from Lucifer and hugs him.

"I missed you, bro. I hope we can spend these twenty minutes having fun."

Lucifer struggles to form words and even an expression.

He wasn't expecting this.

"Now is not the time."

Gabriel chuckles. It sounds dry.

"I know, I can sense her. She's back, but I don't care." He looks up at his brother, eyes sparkling with hope. "I want to spend time with you."

Lucifer quivers slightly from the confession.

He'd never wanted to kill his beloved baby brother, whom he had helped to raise and teach so many things. Killing him was a lasting regret and he'd always told himself that if he ever cared to change the past, he'd bring back Gabriel first.

It was the wrong thing to do.

"What about Sam?" Dean interjects.

Gabriel turns to face the hunter and gives him a half-shrug.

"He'll be fine. Just make sure he gets well-fed by the time he wakes up."

"When will that be?"

"An hour."

There's a hidden message sent to Lucifer telling him to be there when Sam does wake up.

The older archangel balks at the idea of having to abandon his demons _again_ , as if his constant long absences won't end up being of use to Crowley. Nevertheless, there is no room for argument for him, since Gabriel snaps them away, far away from the bunker.

To a place safe for the two of them.

 

 


	19. Brothers

Kali told him that resurrecting an archangel was beyond her powers, and only the Christian god is capable of that, the entity who created Gabriel. However, she is able to bring him back using time magic. What she basically did, was summon forth Gabriel from the day before his death.

Which is why, Gabriel doesn't remember anything that happened at Elysian Fields, but with the limited time they had, Kali and Lucifer were able to fill in some of the blanks.

He wasn't too pleased, but for some reason, hearing about Sam's condition was enough to prevent any questions.

Lucifer has just discovered that Gabriel may have been in a romantic, if not sexual relationship with Sam, at one point. It would have been a brief affair, but enough to mean so much to Sam that it was enough to override Hal's influence. Lucifer's feelings about the matter are obviously mixed, since Sam is his vessel, especially at the time, and he never imagined Gabriel would be so bold as to become so involved with Sam.

He'd love to talk about the entire matter, but with such little time left, Lucifer can only try to indulge in happiness with Gabriel, make up for the lost days and maybe even apologize.

As he's always wanted to.

 _You got in my way, so I killed you_ , Lucifer said to Gabriel about his death.

 _But you are needed, so I brought you back_ , Kali added.

It sounds too little of an explanation, so much left out, and it pains Lucifer that he doesn't have the time to say more. Gabriel won't let him talk about it, instead he wants to curl up next to him on some beach in some foreign country and just ignore everything that's happening.

 _Sam Winchester needs you_ , Lucifer said, and that was all Gabriel needed to hear.

The mention that he was gravely ill only motivated him further.

Nothing else mattered.

The sun is bright, few clouds are in the sky, and no sound but the waves of the ocean and a few flying birds surrounds them. Lucifer is lying flat on the sand, using Castiel's trench coat as support while Gabriel remains unmoving against his side.

It reminds him too much of their better days together.

"Gab--"

"Shh, it's alright, big bro." Gabriel soothes. "I love you, and I want my last days in this timeline to be spent just like this."

Unlike the cracking of Lucifer's voice, Gabriel's is smooth and calm, full of gentleness Lucifer knows he doesn't deserve.

"I am going to kill you, Gabriel."

If only he could prevent it.

"I know."

Gabriel nods and adjusts his head upon Lucifer's chest.

There were days when Lucifer and Gabriel would curl up like this, before the Big Bang, when there was nothing but them and Michael and Raphael, and their absentee father. As time passed, silent moments like these dwindled, but they were always cherished.

Little Gabriel loved playing with Lucifer, swooned at every opportunity to engage with him in fun activities or to merely prank the older archangel. He was never good at tricking Lucifer, but whenever he managed, he would lighten up so brightly and beautifully Lucifer started letting him win their petty games.

Everything changed when Lucifer decided to rebel.

Even now, only fragments of their wonderful times together can be salvaged.

Will Gabriel even remember today, once he goes back? Would it be better if he didn't? To have the pleasure of being like this with Lucifer, only to see him again in the past and be stabbed by him. The thought makes Gabriel's betrayal sound much more deserving.

In truth, who was the real betrayer?

Lucifer is beginning to think it was him, not Gabriel.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel." His only response is a quiet hum. "I didn't mean to, yet I felt I had to take you down. You were in my way, in the way of my great plan. I had waited...so long for that day to come, the Apocalypse, but there you were, somehow blocking my path when I would have spared you otherwise."

Lucifer pauses to hold the tears back. He doesn't want to look weak before his brother.

Gabriel stops his humming to speak. "I don't know what led me to get in your way, but my best guess is the Winchesters. Already I've been thinking about, helping them. I love humans, Luci."

Lucifer is reminded of Gabriel's speech about siding with humanity, something he found disgusting when he first heard it, but now, like any decent brother, Lucifer feels proud. Just like the older brother he always admired, Gabriel stood up for something he believed in, and in turn, he was punished for it, just like he was.

It was a fate he never wanted for Gabriel, or anyone he loves.

When Lucifer doesn't respond with words, Gabriel continues. "Whatever you may do to me, at least you're better now, nicer. I'm not too pleased you're wearing poor little Castiel, but I bet he chose it, for whatever reason." Gabriel pushes himself up so he can look into Lucifer's watery blue eyes. "Promise me bro, that you'll stop our aunt with everything you've got. You and I both know what a pain she is."

Lucifer tries to smile, to laugh, but nothing comes out. It's more of a cough, though Gabriel doesn't seem to mind.

"P-Promise." Lucifer utters.

Gabriel's thankful smile warms his heart.

"I love you, bro, and I'll admit, I love Sam too. He needed me, okay?" Gabriel seems to debate on what to add, but ultimately changes his mind. Lucifer suspects it was a complaint about Lucifer's bad treatment of Sam. "Just, take care of him. he's your vessel, but show him some respect. He's a tough kid, but he still needs a helping hand. God it?"

The words seem rushed, quickly formulated, like Gabriel worries too that his time will soon be up. He likely took the hourglass to prevent Lucifer from constantly checking.

Lucifer tries not to show his pain, but he knows he's failing.

"I love you too, Gabriel, and I will take care of Sam. He's the only human I've ever dared to care about."

Which means Lucifer needs to forgive Sam for hurting his feelings. He may need to forgive even Michael and God, too.

Gabriel's expression brightens, he leans down to peck Lucifer on the forehead, and then he proceeds to decorate Lucifer's face with kisses all over.

Lucifer is torn between laughing and crying.

"I-I-I'm so sorry, Gabriel."

For the first time since he appeared, Gabriel's voice cracks too.

"I forgive you."

* * *

Dean watches Sam from the side, having dragged a chair over to sit on. He's done some cleaning up of the room, but it's mostly still a mess. There's too much on Dean's mind to worry about a dozen bitch faces he'll get should Sam find out.

Five years ago, Sam became intimate with Gabriel.

Gabriel.

Of all the acquaintances, friends and enemies they've gathered since their very first hunt, Gabriel was near the bottom of the list of potential lovers for Sam. Gender and species aside, Dean didn't think Sam could forgive Gabriel for all that he's done. Personality-wise, Gabriel was more likely to get along with Dean due to their taste in women, while Sam would naturally be against Gabriel's hobby of torturing bad people.

It's difficult to process, but Dean's trying, because without Gabriel, Sam may very well be forced to wake up with no memories. It's not Lucifer's fault anymore, given that he had gone out of his way to retrieve his brother somehow.

Right now, all that matters is that Sam wakes up without any more weird hallucinations.

Gabriel gave him an hour.

He can wait.

What's bothersome is when exactly did Gabriel and Sam become lovers of sorts. Dean ponders on this without judgment. All he knows is that the trips through TV land happened before, there's little doubt of that.

He obviously comes up short, because Sam is a sneaky person and memories of his time sneaking around with Ruby prove that. Dean took forever to find out about those moments.

Dean takes Sam's hand into his and presses his lips against the knuckles. He can feel life and warmth and it's a great comfort to him. It then becomes apparent that Sam's going to be hungry and thirsty when he wakes up, and as much as Dean prefers staying by his side, he chooses to prepare the best meal he can.

Sam deserves at least that.

 


	20. Sam Winchester

Sam gorges down the food like he hasn't eaten in days, which is true, but the more accurate term would be nearly two weeks.

He doesn't seem to be suffering from anymore hallucinations. He doesn't act like he's cold or like he's seeing the twisted version of Lucifer anymore. From the minute Sam woke up, he registered Dean and gave him a smile. He obviously frowned upon the mess in his room, but his grumbling stomach was a major distraction, along with the smell of cooked food.

Dean used up almost all their food resources to prepare Sam a hefty meal. He isn't expecting Sam to finish it all at once, but he'd like there to be no more desperate hunger to remain once Sam has finished a plate.

Sam's hunger is currently strong enough for him to stuff down even a homemade burger.

Dean's suspects the three lettuces helped.

The older Winchester doesn't do anything but sit and watch quietly for Sam to eat all he can. He's ready for any choking episodes or a refill of Sam's beer and water. There's still a lot to talk about but Dean doesn't think any of it matters right now. He hasn't _fully_ come to terms with Sam's relationship with Gabriel, but he knows he shouldn't complain.

Sam may have had a weird selection of lovers, compared to most hunters such as Dean, but at least one of them proved helpful.

Dean hasn't thought about their current situation in a while. The Darkness can prey upon a few more civilians for all he cares, right now, Dean needs Sam to be healthy, and then he'll do something about her rain of terror.

After a total of three and a half servings, Sam downs his beer bottle and heaves a heavy sigh.

Dean removes the empty plates from the counter and puts them in the sink, while Sam says a breathless "Thank you', Dean smiles.

There's a slightly awkward silence when Dean returns to sit in front of Sam.

Luckily, Sam is the one to start.

"So, um, I don't fully remember what has happened, other than that I've been in pain for a long time. I even saw stuff, places I shouldn't have." Sam's voice drops.

"Was it Cage?" Dean prods lightly.

"Yeah," He nods. "among other things. I don't remember seeing you, though I tried to find you. I was alone. It was like..." Sam pauses, as if trying recall his nightmarish experience. "I don't know, it's pretty much a blur at this point. I do remember seeing Lucifer though, watching him taunt me, humiliate me, and I think I saw Lilith too. Blood was every--"

Dean cuts Sam off with his palmed raised. The demon named Lilith is a topic he doesn't want to discuss, not even remotely. "Enough, I get it. You've virtually been through hell and what you need is rest."

"And an explanation."

Dean raises an eyebrow.

"I guess I should give one and, get one." Dean nods. "I, don't actually know what happened, like I said it's all a blur now, but there are bits and pieces I'm remembering the more I think about it." Dean kind of regrets bringing it up. "Like, being inside the bunker, but not this bunker, one that was cold and frightening. I can't tell if I was awake or dreaming. I felt like I wasn't alive."

"You didn't look like it."

Sam huffs a laugh, and Dean follows.

"I suppose not. I assume you found out what caused this?" Dean nods again. "Tell me, what exactly happened, while I was gone?"

"Well, you weren't exactly gone," Dean takes one of the unopened beer bottles and drains a mouthful from it. "but you were lost in your mind. Took me, and Lucifer, days to figure out what was going on."

'Why did Lucifer help?"

"I forced him to, at first, then he got a little responsible and went out of his way to find the answer. He even had Cas help."

Sam's eyes widen at that. "Is Cas okay?"

"As far as I could tell, yeah. Does seem like he chose this. Lucifer doesn't seem to mind him either."

Sam sighs, relief flooding his entire body. His posture also softens. It was a worry they both shared before this whole thing started.

"So...what else happened, anything interesting?"

Dean shakes his head.

"No, just that we found out Gabriel was the cure and brought him here. Lucifer did, actually, though I have no idea how."

Sam goes quiet, looking half-ashamed and impossibly small.

Then his mind clicks.

"You found...the DVD, didn't you?"

Dean nods.

"Why'd you keep it Sam?"

Dean regrets asking it the minute the words leave his mouth. Sam's broken and sad expression stings.

"It was all we had left of him. Don't get me wrong, Dean, I still hate him for what he did to us, but, at that time, I was feeling awfully low, and Gabriel, he found me, as I was sulking. He told me everything I needed to hear and he meant it, unlike Ruby or any other lying person we've encountered."

Dean understands.

It makes sense now. Sam's unexpected relationship with Gabriel stemmed from need rather than want, like most sexual relationships do. Sam _needed_ someone with Gabriel's personality, or someone who could acknowledge his wrong-doings and not hate him because of them.

If there was anything plaguing Sam's mind during that time, it was the fact that he had started the Apocalypse himself.

"I...fell in love," Dean tries not to choke on the beer. "only briefly. I almost forgot we had anything by the time he showed up at that hotel. Afterwards, I began to remember his kind words. I kept the DVD because I needed a keepsake."

There's only caring in Dean's eyes as he looks at Sam, sitting there slouching and looking unnecessarily ashamed of himself for wanting something like that. Sam has always denied himself things, so Dean should be happy for him, should be glad he reached out for once.

It isn't until Dean finishes the beer that he speaks up.

"What about the amulet?"

Sam nearly jumps off his seat in shock. He clearly wasn't expecting that to be found.

"Y-Y-You found that?"

Dean can only nod without bombarding Sam with every single thought that ran through his head when he found it, inside a pocket of one of Sam's jackets.

When Sam refuses to say anything and instead looks more embarrassed, Dean pats him on the shoulder.

"Hey, I ain't mad. I'm not mad about anything, trust me. Just, explain to me, please."

Sam nods slowly, before looking up to meet Dean's eyes.

"I know how much you didn't want it, Dean, especially when it wasn't necessary to represent our relationship, but I felt that, not only did it symbolize all that we've been through, it was also a symbol of faith. Not in God, but in us, Dean. We...we've been through, maybe not everything with it, but sure as hell a lot. My life changed on the day I gave it to you. You need to be out of your mind to think I was going to let some motel cleaner throw it away."

Dean pats his shoulder again. Maybe he really had lost his mind at the time.

"Alright pal, I understand. I'm probably not going to wear it anytime soon, but I'll acknowledge that it's there and we should keep it."

"Do you think we can replace it with the fake we got, for the Impala?"

Sam asks with the most adorable puppy eyes he can muster. Dean's hand falters slightly before he pulls back.

"Alright big guy, we will."

Sam's smile takes away any unease in Dean's chest. All that's left is finding out what Lucifer is currently up to.

* * *

"Sam."

Sam is in a motel room, the same one he found himself in when the illusion of Jessica appeared, and the one where he met Lucifer for the first time, the _real_ Lucifer.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, and when he turns round, Lucifer is on the bed, just like back then.

The main difference is Sam doesn't look like he did back then, he's older, but he's still dressed in all white. He's also not afraid of Lucifer anymore.

Lucifer isn't touching him either.

"How are you feeling?"

He asks, and Sam thinks back at how he had spent much of his waking hours eating, drinking, cleaning, and exercising, all activities meant to help him get back on track. In other words...

"Better."

Lucifer nods. He looks rather satisfied, but Sam can still see a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"How about you?"

Lucifer shrugs.

"I feel fine."

Sam would've believed him if he was looking in Sam's eyes when he said that.

"So, you're supposed to be my guardian angel, from now on?"

Lucifer's laugh is creepy because of how forced it sounds.

"I guess I am. Protect and serve, my one true vessel."

Sam shudders. That's a title he'd rather not use again. Lucifer seems to acknowledge that, for the moment.

He doesn't add to the thought, though, and the two are left in an awkward silence that stretches on until Sam says something.

"So, um, is Gabriel....gone?"

Lucifer face falls almost completely, the apparent sadness now as clear as the sun on a hot day. Sam nearly flinches back from shock. He hadn't intended for his words to strike a nerve that badly.

Lucifer lets out a quiet sigh.

"Yes. He was only to remain temporarily. One hour, he had. He wasn't exactly resurrected. Only dad could do that." Lucifer eyes a random spot on the carpet, and in a matter of seconds, his expression fills with pure rage. "My dad could have done something!" Sam jumps back when Lucifer tosses both pillows on the bed at said spot. He's all angry now, nothing but hot fury and Sam's admittedly scared.

It reminds him of Lucifer in the Cage.

Sam rises from the bed and extends his arms out, tries to sooth the archangel who is still glaring at that spot on the floor, like it's a representation of his father.

"Hey hey, calm down. It's...okay now." Lucifer shakes his head, stiffly. "Please don't go being angry around me."

"I thought I was done being angry." Sam is confused. "I blew up nearly six towns with how furious I was." Color falls from Sam's face completely. Wasn't the Apocalypse over now? Shouldn't Lucifer stop with his anti-God parade? Lucifer shakes his head again, but not at Sam. "Did you know that we prayed to him, Sam?" Lucifer stares into Sam's eyes. "Me and Dean. We prayed for hours, even Castiel helped, but God remained quiet." He looks away. "I was forced to ask the assistance of a mere pagan god to bring Gabriel back."

Lucifer's whole body shudders from what Sam initially thinks is rage, but Lucifer's voice tells him otherwise. "One hour, we had. It was too little time. One hour." A tear drops from Lucifer's eyes and Sam realizes for the first time, that Lucifer really loved his brother and still does.

It was a pain when Gabriel announced he was going to be dead, or will be dead by the time he and Dean watched his video. Sam was fortunate he didn't cry over it, not in front of Dean. It took hours for the tears to fall, but never did he expect Gabriel's murderer to feel this much guilt.

"I swear Sam, that I will watch over you. For Gabriel," Lucifer's eyes are watery when he looks at Sam, and Sam's heart can't help but melt with sympathy. They both lost someone dear. "and for you."

Lucifer embraces Sam when the latter approaches him. Usually, he'd be sick from physical contact with Lucifer, but recent events have proven that Lucifer no longer wants to hurt him. Fear is not needed.

No more tears emerge from Lucifer, but from Sam next. The arms around him only tighten as he shakes and shivers from the loss of a beloved person. Dean would probably not want to see this, and it would be awkward if Lucifer was in Cas' form, so Sam is grateful that Lucifer chose to visit him in his dreams.

Sam is so very grateful. 

 


	21. Epilogue

Ultimately, Lucifer chose to work _against_ the Winchesters.

It wasn't anything personal, at least, not anymore. Lucifer needed to restore the original dynamics that had existed prior to the whole incident of Sam's illness. It was discomforting, really, for Dean, since it meant being enemies with Lucifer _and_ the Darkness _ **and**_ having to rescue Castiel from the Devil.

Sam's decision to remain un-possessed basically turned Castiel into a kidnapped victim, even if he wasn't really a victim anymore. He was a willing passenger in his own mind, who was happy knowing that Sam was alright.

Dean and Sam worked hard to find another Hand of God, and through Crowley's clever mechanisms, the two were offered the Horn of Joshua.

The plan was to separate the archangel from his current vessel, and force him to find someone else. Sam however, was more inclined to let Castiel be the way he was and instead of worrying that they were one person short because of the archangel, they should recruit the archangel himself.

By the time they had decided to summon Lucifer again, Heaven had fallen under the latter's hands.

It was actually good news.

"You want my help? I thought I said 'no'."

"Please..."

Sam's kicked puppy eyes worked wonders on Lucifer.

Apparently, the whole plan to restore some semblance of normality wasn't going to work.

Dean and Sam teamed up with Lucifer and Crowley, and with the whole of Hell and Heaven at their disposal, they were ready to face the Darkness.

Meanwhile, a lone man inside a bar was working on a story.

He typed in the final words with...

"Lucifer finally sided with humanity."

Leaning back against the chair, the man smiled proudly at the screen. Everything worked out as he had hoped.

Earth was going to be fine.

"Remember what your older brother taught you, Lucifer, that loved conquers all."

_Remember._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank you all who stayed and read this story until the very end. This shall be my last Supernatural story, so no more new ones from me. I hope you all enjoyed. 
> 
> Thank you again. 
> 
> P.S. Ricorda is Italian for "Remember"
> 
> Never forget the power of love, my dear readers. It can conquer anything. ;D


	22. Epilogue v.2

Life pretty much returns to normal afterwards, Dean thinks.

Of course, there's the discovery of mind-blowing secrets and a fragile alliance with Lucifer.

Dean doesn't know how Sam managed to become closer to the archangel, but like with the secrets, Dean is willing to accept anything his brother decides.

Though he can't help but miss Castiel.

Two weeks of basically scanning the bunker for answers until you're tired and ready to drop dead and die have not been comforting, even with Castiel briefly by his side. Sam had insisted that before they deal with Amara, they need to deal with their own health problems.

They both eat more, drink more, exercise more, and most importantly, sleep more.

After four days, Lucifer pops up inside the bunker.

He has an offer.

Through sweet and convincing words - no lies - he tells them that he has convinced both Heaven and Hell to work for him. He has Crowley and Heaven's new _de facto_ leader under his clutches, since no one is strong enough to argue.

The news obviously leaves the brothers gaping and speechless.

However, it's a good offer. Dean can't deny the benefits of having such a powerful army at their disposal.

Maybe God won't help them, but with the way things are now, Dean and Sam are certain they will win.

They will beat the Darkness.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this version sound better? I'll leave that for you readers to decide.


End file.
